We all love Heart Evangelista, but she’s all set to break our collective hearts

Words by Philbert Dy / Photography by Juan Caguicla

There will come a time when Heart Evangelista won’t be on the public radar. At least that’s what she thinks. She will gladly confess to how much fun she’s having as a celebrity, or how she’s enjoying the perks of her fame. At the same time, she will mention how this life has kept her from pursuing other things, how it’s kept her from living a normal life.
“I really wanted to be a vet,” she says. “Now it feels like it’s too late. Maybe if I retire next year, I’ll become a vet. Otherwise…”
She leaves the thought hanging. In truth, it’s already a foregone conclusion. She has two years left on her contract, one that pretty much keeps her on the soap opera grind. Her latest, Dwarfina, has her spending 18-hour days in front of a green screen, running and jumping across an imaginary landscape where everything is just a little too big for her.
Not that she doesn’t enjoy it. “It’s lot of playing with imagination, since there’s really nothing there. I have to imagine the people I’m talking to, and all the things I’m seeing. It’s like I’m just a kid playing.” She works these days largely by herself, not even having the benefit of interacting with a co-actor. On this show, she is strangely isolated, working towards things that she can’t even see.

It’s striking to hear how pragmatic she is about the entire business. While other actresses will talk for ages about dream roles or incessantly praise every single aspect of their lives, Heart seems to acknowledge that there’s a sort of falseness in this kind of life—that it might not be the most fulfilling path for a young person.

Part of it is simple cost-benefit analysis. Right now, as a major star, she enjoys plenty of perks. “It’s great to get all sorts of free stuff from people, and it’s easy money.” She pauses. “Well it’s not really easy, but it’s fun. It’s a fun way to make a living.” The only role she’s ever complained about is one that had her hidden under prosthetics. She gestures roughly around her nose and mouth area. “They had all of this covered, and I had to cry. It was all wet around that area all day—so uncomfortable.” It isn’t the discomfort that she’s actually unhappy with though. It’s the fact that the show wasn’t primetime, and that the audience wasn’t commensurate to the effort that she put in.
Though most would probably laugh at the idea of acting being hard work, it must be noted how much real effort goes into being a public figure. Being a major celebrity is really about limits. Endorsement deals and roles come with certain obligations. Heart is constantly on a strict diet. She carries around a carton of orange juice, which seems to serve as her primary source of everyday energy. She claims she’s still able to pig out, but judging from how much was left from the chicken fajitas she was sharing with her road manager, her definition of “pigging out” is very different from that of the average person. She always has to be mindful of how she looks in pictures; a stray bit of cleavage might cost her a lucrative endorsement deal. On screen, all manner of conditions crowd her acting process. It might be natural for one of her characters to swig beer straight from the bottle to deal with a painful breakup. But natural isn’t a priority for some of the companies that employ her as an image model. She might have put everything into a scene, come out with the most truthful performance ever, but if she drank from a bottle, she’d have to reshoot.

Heart just seems keenly aware of the business side of show business. As much as people like to talk about perfecting the craft or creating art that connects with people, success in the current show business environment is really about keeping an eye on the bottom line. Actuary-like calculations play a major role in production. Networks have an arcane set of mathematics that weighs the risk and reward of placing a star in a certain kind of project. Heart seems to know her role and the system, and she’s decided to play it as smartly as she can.
She is the only actress I’ve ever talked to that prefers doing soaps over movies. “Soaps have so much more power,” she says. She explains that soaps will expose you to more people; that it keeps you in the public eye for a much longer period of time. While she cops to the idea that a movie might be more satisfying on a craft level, in terms of pure business, soaps just makes more sense. She may end up doing a lot more work, but the prestige and the accompanying perks are simply greater.
She’s looking ahead to the day when these perks will fade, when she’ll be older in an industry that disproportionately values youth. She doesn’t want to still be putting in the hours that she does on set and not have the prestige that she enjoys now. The strangest thing about all this is how she says it without an ounce of cynicism. The same sentiments have been heard from faded stars, every word dripping with bitterness. But Heart talks business with the same brightness and positivity that she treats everything else. She might be a veteran of the business, and she might have one eye out the door, but there’s no sense that she hates any of it. She’s genuinely happy to be where she is. She’s just aiming for something more.
“Even if I could maintain a certain level of prestige, I’d probably only show up in two films a year.” She balks at any larger commitment. “I’ve been doing this for twelve, thirteen years now, and I feel like I’ve missed out on so much.”
“I really admire actresses like Bianca King or Iya Villania who study and work at the same time. I don’t know how they do it.” Heart looks genuinely puzzled. “I’m still an undergrad,” she says. “I’d like to go back to studying…probably something related to what I’ve been doing. Maybe fashion.” She also talks about someday playing a part in the family business. “I’d like to see a Barrio Fiesta in Greenbelt,” she says. She talks about modernizing the menu, tailoring it to fit the younger generation.
Heart talks about expanding her horizons. She wants to travel. “I think about all the girls my age. They’ve experienced so much more than me. They’ve been to more places.” Heart sees herself as sheltered, her life as a celebrity having kept her in a state of arrested development. “I don’t even know how to do bank stuff,” she says with just a hint of frustration. The life of a celebrity has its perks, but in the end, it’s just a bubble that’s waiting to be popped. Heart wants to be ready for life outside the bubble.
So while we still have a couple of years to enjoy Heart Evangelista’s effervescence on television, I suggest that fans savor what we have now. Right now, she is still happy to be everywhere, to be someone who has the privilege of entertaining the masses on a daily basis. But she is already looking at the life beyond that of celebrity. She is going to try to live a more normal life, using the same work ethic that she used to excel in show business in order to succeed in other, less absurd fields. And while nothing is ever a sure thing in this world, it feels like Heart will find success in whatever it is that she ends up doing. The keen business sense that she already exhibits will likely serve her well. Her odd mix of pragmatism and positivity ought to make her a pretty effective leader.
Yes, she might still show up in a movie or two, never forgetting how much the industry has done for her, but Heart is growing up. She seems to think that there’s more to life than being a celebrity. She’s all set on breaking our collective hearts, depriving audiences of her natural charm. Like the greatest love affairs, this just isn’t meant to last.

by Jaemark Tordecilla
Photo courtesy of Cesar Hernando

The unabashed sports writer behind the vehement and critical blog Fire Quinito debuts his first UNO piece that weighs in on the sports officials or, in his words, those ‘dastardly zebras in uniforms’

Referee Tim Donaghy rocked the sports world in July 2007 when he resigned from the National Basketball Association (NBA) amid reports that federal agents were investigating allegations on games he officiated. Donaghy had been an NBA referee for 13 years, officiating 772 regular-season and 20 playoff games, and the revelation that he was fixing games threw the NBA into red alert.

League commissioner David Stern quickly issued a statement saying that the Donaghy matter was an isolated case, but other observers weren’t quite so sure. United States congressman Bobby Rush, grandstanding as politicians are wont to do, called the issue potentially “the most damaging scandals in the history of American sports.”

Popular sportswriter Bill Simmons, for his part, devoted a whole column on the Donaghy scandal. Writing that the league is on a decline, Simmons declared, “We will never watch an NBA game the same way.”

Three and a half seasons later, the NBA is enjoying resurgence. The league has posted record ratings for 2010-2011 for American national television broadcasts on ESPN and TNT, thanks in large part to a top-heavy slate of contenders led by Kobe Bryant’s Los Angeles Lakers, the two-time defending champions, and the Miami Heat, which features the All-Star trio of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh. The influx of young stars such as Kevin Durant, Derrick Rose, Russell Westbrook, and Blake Griffin have added luster to the league, whose talent level is at its highest since its ‘80s heyday.

Meanwhile, the Donaghy scandal, once touted as the sign of the apocalypse for the league, seems to have bowled over. The disgraced official was sentenced to 15 months in prison, and an additional three years of supervised release. He authored a book and contributed a column on the sports blog Deadspin.com during the 2010 playoffs, but by then, everyone seemed ready to just ignore the scumbag ref and send him back to oblivion.

While some were surprised that the NBA had a rogue official, most sports fans weren’t exactly shocked that a referee would be, you know, evil. In the NBA, some referees have even been accused of having it in for particular players or teams, such as Joey Crawford, who seems to have beef with Tim Duncan and the San Antonio Spurs, and Bill Kennedy, allegedly the bane of Doc Rivers’s Boston Celtics.

Indeed, for the most rabid supporters, the hostility during sporting events extends not just to the bad guys in the opposing team’s uniforms, but also to the dastardly zebras in uniform as well.

Sports teams and their fans thrive on feeling that it’s them against the world, but the enmity of fans toward officials goes far deeper. In the metaphor for life that is the sporting event, the referees represent The Man, the authority figure that keeps us down and lies in wait for the perfect time to screw us over.

When they swallow their whistles while the star player gets mugged at the rim, call a ticky-tack foul on the center, or T up the coach for complaining, the refs turn into every corrupt congressman, every kotong cop, every stupid boss, and every unfair professor we’ve ever encountered in our life.

Unlike with Congressman Manhik Manaog, SPO2 Alex Kupit, department manager Froilan Engot, and Professor Anita Coo-Palermo, where we have no choice but to clam up, we’re not quite as helpless when it comes to the referees. In the arena, you can heckle the referees and call them names to your heart’s delight; it’s almost as enjoyable, if not more so, than watching the basketball games, especially if, like me, you’re a fan of the hapless U.P. Fighting Maroons. In fact, joining thousands of other aggrieved fans in chanting “Referee, GAGO!” is one of the most uniquely enjoyable experiences when attending a Filipino sporting event live.

Rafe Bartholomew, who wrote the seminal book on Philippine basketball Pacific Rims, even argues that one reason why the Philippine Basketball Association became a social phenomenon in the Martial Law ‘70s was precisely so people could abuse the refs—verbally and physically.

“If the referees missed a particularly dirty foul, bedlam followed, as fans pelted the court with as much debris as could be dredged from their pockets, handbags, and backpacks,” Bartholomew wrote. “The peso coin was the projectile-of-choice, but bottles, beer cans, and batteries were also lobbed at the hardwood.”

“Unruly behavior that would have gotten spectators in public,” he explained further, “was tolerated inside the arena, and even fans who only watched on television felt cathartic thrills.” Watching the games and taking all their anger out mostly on the referees, was therapy for these people, who were being abused by The Man in almost every other facet of their lives.

The most ugly incident involving referees in Philippine basketball happened in the Manila Industrial and Commercial Athletic Association, the precursor to the PBA. Meralco was playing against Crispa in 1971, and to hear fans of the Reddy Kilowatts tell it, their team was getting the shaft. After yet another bad call against Meralco’s center Teddy “Big Boy” Reynoso went berserk and incited a mini-riot, with the referees at the receiving end of the skirmish.

Reynoso and another teammate mauled officials Joe Obias and Edilberto Cruz. These players were suspended for life by Basketball Association of the Philippines president Lito Puyat, at least until they were reinstated in 1973 through the intercession of the late dictator Ferdinand Marcos.

Big Boy’s teammate, who also got his licks in on the refs, Robert Jaworski would become the most popular player in Philippine basketball history, despite—or perhaps, because of—his violent history with officials.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the ill will of sports fans for referees would be exploited so thoroughly by professional wrestling. That whole industry, after all, is a funhouse mirror look at society, taking minor elements from people’s lives and turning them into larger-than-life caricatures. Hence the policeman, the garbage man, the hip-hop artists, the tax collector, and the immortal prince of evil with the power to control the in-arena fireworks, all of who just happen to moonlight as professional wrestlers.

Just like in real life, the referees in professional wrestling are inept—in fact, comically so. They are easily distracted by scantily-clad managers, they miss the foreign objects tucked into the bad guys’ trunks (By the way, is there anything worse than being hit in the face by brass knuckles that’s been marinating for 30 minutes in some sweaty guy’s crotch?), they make a habit of getting hit by steel chairs, and they lose their consciousness at the most inopportune moments, usually when the good guy has the baddie pinned down. I’ve watched wrestling all my life, and by my conservative estimate, about half of all title matches have been marred by terrible officiating.

But while the referees in pro wrestling are awful at their jobs, it could at least be argued that, for the most part, their hearts are in the right place. However, one referee stands out for being evil, so evil in fact, that he makes Tim Donaghy look like a choirboy.

Danny Davis was just another hapless referee for the then-WWF, but when 1986 rolled around, he subtly showed signs of crookedness: disqualifying the good guys for flimsy reasons and allowing bad guys to double team their opponents in tag team matches longer than the five-second limit. Soon, however, Davis pushed the envelope by making quick pinfall counts for wrestling’s villains, amid speculation from television announcers that he had been receiving bribes from the grapplers. WWF president Jack Tunney even summoned Davis for a public apology, which the evil official took back just a few seconds later!

Things reached a boiling point in a January 1987 episode of Saturday Night’s Main Event, during a steel cage match between Hulk Hogan and Paul Orndorff. The official assigned to the match, Joey Marella, declared Hogan the winner of the match, but Davis inserted himself into the picture and tried to reverse the decision, and even got into a physical altercation with his fellow ref.

A few days later, Davis helped the evil Hart Foundation win the tag team titles from the virtuous British Bulldogs, which would lead to his suspension as a referee. Out of options, Davis became a wrestler himself, and the audience got the pleasure of seeing the hated cheating ref getting the starch beaten out of him by the same guys he had screwed when he was still wearing the stripes.

Today, his stint as the evil referee remains Davis’s lasting legacy, a legacy that allows him to find paid gigs in independent wrestling promotions from time to time.
It would take a ridiculous amount of refereeing evil to top the exaggerated wrestling villainy of Danny Davis, but the world of football just might have someone who fits the bill. World Cup referee Byron Moreno made enemies the world over with his performance during the Italy-South Korea match.

Moreno, an Ecuadorian national, allegedly cooked some kimchee to make sure that the co-hosts would advance past Gli Azzurri. He disallowed a 111th-minute goal by Italy’s Damiano Tomassi, citing the midfielder for offside, called a foul on Italy that led to a missed penalty kick for South Korea late in the game, and ejected striker Francesco Totti for an alleged dive.

The perceived lopsided officiating outraged Media outlets worldwide. English paper the Daily Telegraph, in fact, ordered its readers not to cheer for South Korea, which was playing England’s bitter rival Germany in the semifinals. A tall order, quipped author Nick Hornby, who wrote about the competition for The New Yorker: “Most English football fans would root for a Taliban team against Germany in a World Cup match.” Even FIFA, the international football federation denounced the poor officiating.

A few months later, Moreno was involved once again in a couple of controversial matches in his home country, which led to a 20-game suspension. Instead of carrying on, Moreno decided to leave refereeing for good.

However, that wasn’t the last time Moreno’s name would be in the headlines. In September 2010, he was arrested at New York’s JFK Airport after immigration officials discovered bags of heroin on his stomach and the back of his legs during a routine inspection. After a strip search, authorities came away with more than 10 pounds of heroin on his body.

Say what you will about the evilness of Danny Davis, but at least he never tried to smuggle heroin. You have, at least, got to give him that. 

Originally published in UNO March 2011 issue.

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UNO braved the Makati traffic to have lunch with Up Dharma Down’s front woman Armi Millare at Le Bistro Vert

Words by Denise J. Mallabo | Photos by Shaira Luna

When I arrived at the Frasier place in Makati, I had a sudden flashback upon seeing Le Bistro Vert: the place almost overflowing, people: bottle of beer in one hand and a cancer stick in the other, accompanied by muffled yet still loud music coming from the band playing inside. The spot where that bar used to be now accommodates a charming and very inviting restaurant.

Le Bistro Vert, which means The Green Bistro, caters to the more “health conscious,” and most of the ingredients found in their dishes come from local farmers and producers, and from small organic farms. The restaurant is owned by a number of food lovers and one of the most popular local chefs, Chef Sau del Rosario.
We asked singer/songwriter Armi Millare from the band Up Dharma Down (UDD) to join us for lunch. Armi has one of the most commanding singing voices in today’s local music scene. When asked about her band’s success she simply said that she’s happy they are able to share UDD’s unique sound without having to compromise each other’s individuality and passion. “It feels great to know that there are other people who can relate to an experience that brought me so much pain; to cause me to write something; for me to be confident enough to sing about it and for them to be patient enough to listen. That to me is the more important face of success,” says Armi. Her love for music is so massive that she wishes she had started playing it at an early age. “I spent too much time playing doctor when I could’ve spent it playing the piano,” declares Armi.
Read on as we get to know her—and Le Bistro Vert—during our lunch date.
What’s the first song that you ever liked to the point that you wished you wrote it?
 I don’t remember the first one, but right now it would have to be “Happiness” by The Blue Nile. The lines that go, “I can do wrong, but I will do right” just tears me up inside because the origin of this song is something I am not, and something I may never learn. I can be pretty reckless sometimes.
When was it that you actually told yourself “Aahh, we’ve kinda made it”?
 Honestly I don’t see any difference from the way things were in the past. The band effortlessly keeps quite a low profile. “Making it” in this business, in my book, is more about getting people to accept our music for the way it is, and that some are more open-minded these days to listen to it, even if I think it’s not really that complicated. It’s just not what you hear on the radio everyday. 

How was your first gig out of the country? Can you tell us a little something about it?
 We went to Hong Kong for the first time in 2007. I was so nervous; it felt like we were starting all over again because we were in a country where people neither speak English or Filipino. It was fun, though. It made me feel like I really made the right decision giving music a chance. It was monumental because it told me how I would never have gotten the chance to travel and do something that is the core of my being. 

You lost a lot of weight, what is thy secret? 
 I just went to the gym for four months, got on that bike everyday for twenty minutes. I ate the same things but I was more careful with the proportions, and I realized that it’s not about stuffing your face with your favorite food, but enjoying every little detail by having a few bites. I’ve stopped going to the gym, but I swim from time to time to maintain it, and these days, I mix it up with running.

Your style also changed, how come?
 I’ve always been such a tomboy growing up. My friends are mostly boys, and I grew up with two brothers so you’d never catch me in a dress unless I really had to be in one. I also thought I had to be “the girl” in the group so I acted it. Then I realized that I didn’t have to cater to the typical look that girls go for since I’m a little offbeat anyway; some are too feminine for my own taste. So I stuck to the whole androgynous look. I cut my hair really short so I take very little time grooming myself because I move slowly naturally. Now there’s a significant change in how long I take preparing for a show. 

What do you think would be a terrible misconception about you?
 That I’m high maintenance, outgoing, and like to go out. Sure I go out, but half the time I go on my own or go with just one companion. I cannot handle a big group. I’m more of an intimate conversationalist, and I limit company to three people if it’s a group. My job takes me to go to bars and noisy places so I don’t look for that when I’m out. I like quiet evenings and traveling alone if I can manage to not get lost!

What do you think about Le Bistro Vert’s atmosphere? Interiors?
 I love it. I’d love to make it the prototype for the loft I want someday. It’s very relaxed, and good for any kind of date be it with friends, family, or loved ones. It’s lively enough; there’s lots of sun. I’d have breakfast here every now and then if I could. 

Would you have imagined it to look like this after how it looked like when it was still a bar?
 Not at all. It’s totally changed. The fact that I went there in the daytime is a big factor, too.

For appetizers, you ate the Thai Style Dory Fish Cakes and Lemongrass Turmeric Chicken Satay. How were they?
Good! I especially loved the fish cakes. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

How was the Tawilis, Salted Egg and Sweet Sour Mango salad?
Good, too! The combination of the salted egg and the tawilis and light dressing seemed perfect. 
How did you like your Spiced Pumpkin soup?
I give it five stars. It’s a must try. Never forget to order it!
You also had a taste of the Tuyo Penne Quesong Puti, how did it fare?
Good. I wanted more quesong puti though.
For the main course, you tasted two of their best dishes: the Beef Mignon “Bifstek Style” and Palawan Cashew & Herb Crusted Sole Fillet, how were they?
They were both good, but if I were to choose between the two, I’d pick the Beef Mignon.

For dessert, you ate the Calamansi iLime Pie, which I heard Chef Sau prepared himself, was it as yummy as it looks?
The Calamansi iLime Pie was great. If I had less self-control, I’d finish it in less than a minute. Talk about not stuffing my face with food. 
What is your favorite among all that was served?
 The fish cakes and the pumpkin soup: I love them, as well as the lychee with tofu shake.

Who would be the perfect person to bring here?
 My mom and dad. They love places like these. We were all vegetarian for thirteen years before I became the prodigal foodie, but after this experience I’m thinking of going vegan again.

They say never trust a skinny chef, but how about a sexy one? We luckily caught up with the very busy Chef Sau del Rosario, and listened as he spoke about Le Bistro Vert, his ideal comfort food, and the perils of being popular.

How does is feel like to be one of the most sought after chefs in the Philippines?
I always get that question nowadays. There’s always a price to fame like one time I was checking in at the airport, and when I was going to have my bags checked, the inspector said “Diba ikaw si Chef Sau? Okay nayan!” That’s actually the good thing about it. Some would just stalk me in Facebook, kaya ang daming nakikipag chat, ang daming nagpapa-friends. The worst disadvantage lang would be that they look at you from head to toe, watch what you wear, know where you go, how much alcohol you take, and all of a sudden being a public figure you now have an image to protect since you already have product sponsors and endorsements. Luckily, I don’t see myself as a celebrty so I don’t have that complex. I live the same way as before all of these things started.

You mean when you were part of that ice cream commercial?
Yeah, but I really think that my popularity came from being a good chef because I’ve been in the business for a while and the in thing now is magluto—all of a sudden, everyone wants to cook now, and kami ngayon yung mga muhkang mga seniors (chuckles). I don’t want to be called senior citizens, the veterans na lang. Ha-ha!

How did you start cooking? Did you really wanted to be a chef since you were young?
I started very young since my father’s a chef, and I came from Pampanga, a region where everybody cooks. I got exposed at a very young age and then, I took HRA in UP, then I did my training in France for five years. I also worked in hotels and restaurants in Singapore, Shanghai, Bangkok, etc. I really love to cook, hindi ko nga alam anong gagawin ko kung hindi nga ako naging kusinero. I’d probably end up as a prostitute. Ha-ha! I’ll just lie-down. I don’t have any talent other than cooking.

Can you remember the first dish that ever cooked? How was it?
It was rellenong bangus, which is actually very difficult to prepare. I was five.

What’s your comfort food?
I’m not a gourmet guy, really. My ideal comfort food would be Pinoy food. I like bulalo, I like adobo, I like menudo. I’m very mababaw. I don’t like going to gourmet restaurants anymore since that’s already what I do. I can’t even eat salmon and sea bass anymore.

How is Le Bistro Vert different from other restaurants?
It’s very unique since we introduce sustainable food. My partners Chit, Jenny, Lot, and Rena go around the Philippines, and then they look for fresh ingredients and bring it to Manila. I try to experiment and when it tastes okay, then it comes out in the menu. If a costumer likes our food and asks about the ingredients, we are more than willing to give the name of our supplier so that we can also help these small organic farmers. We really support these communities. We would like to encourage them to grow more because if there is a good enough demand for these products, the prices would go down eventually. You know, it’s just plain economics. Almost all our ingredients here are organic, even our pork is organic; they’re fed with Arugula. Our chickens are free range, it’s a little bit tough, but the taste is better. Since we have an advocacy to promote, we try to break that misconception of organic being really expensive that’s why we try to bring down the price of our food.

What’s your specialty here?
Iba-iba, usually people order fish or salad.

Le Bistro Vert
Streetside, Fraser Place, Ground Floor Fraser Tower, Valero Street, Salcedo Village, Makati City.
They are open from Monday to Friday, 7 a.m.–10 p.m., and Saturdays from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m.
For reservations and inquiries call 403.1841 (telefax).

by Neva Kares Talladen

How Wimbledon filled its drama quota

This year, the Wimbledon final was more of an afterthought. So Rafael Nadal completed another Channel Slam (French Open and Wimbledon back-to-back), his comeback after a disappointing, injury-filled 2009. So Tomas Berdych, battling through top-ranked players, reached his first final at a major. When it was all over, everyone seemed less concerned about this last match and more interested in reminiscing the first week at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club.
We should’ve known Wimbledon would became the Titanic of tennis drama this year, breaking all previous attendance and ticket sales records. Scanning the crowd of a packed Centre Court, the camera revealed a majority beet-red from docile, sunny weather—unusual for London at any time of year.
There were no rain delays (must be a record, among many the tournament has set this year)—as if the weather decided to take a backseat to the impending drama that lay ahead, as told in this year’s list of Wimbledon’s (in)famous incidents, arranged from the mildly controversial to the most memorable:

A royal snubbing
Last time she came round, disco was all the rage. Thirty-three years later, players and tournament organizers scrambled to prepare for the Queen’s unscheduled visit. There was brief confusion about etiquette and attire. Everyone dropped something for an audience with Wimbledon’s Official Patron.

Everyone, that is, except Rafael Nadal.

Tennis’ current Golden Boy and reigning world number one, Nadal, was scheduled to play a qualifier from Holland, Robin Hasse the afternoon of the Queen’s visit. The Spaniard bowed out of the special audience so he could complete his pre-match warm-up and preparation (seemed to be the right decision: Nadal had to fight his way from two sets down to defeat the resilient Dutchman).
No one can say for sure whether or not this offended the Queen. All we know is that she stayed to watch British hope Andy Murray but promptly left before Nadal’s match.

The curse of Court 13
This court was previously known as the “graveyard” where greats like Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi, Lleyton Hewitt, and Pat Cash lost to unseeded players in the early rounds. Renumbering the courts, organizers thought removing Court 13 altogether would stem the wave of early upsets.
It didn’t work.
French Open champion Francesca Schiavone and runner-up Sam Stosur were out in the first round, Andy Roddick in the fourth round. Preludes that lead us to…

Roger: over and out
The biggest upset of the tournament wasn’t just about somebody taking out the most dominant tennis player of all time. Roger Federer’s loss this year literally snapped tennis fans out of their seven-year stupor. Since 2003, Federer has been a Wimbledon fixture, a foregone conclusion, making it to the final stage every time.
The stunned crowd watched the former world number one go down in four sets at the hands of the young Czech and eventual finalist, Tomas Berdych. The loss sparked rumors of fatigue, injury, and pending retirement. But most likely, it’s because of his sleepless nights as a new father to twin girls.

Spit decision
It was his last resort. During his match against British player Daniel Brands, Victor Hanescu heard racist remarks against him from the crowd. The Romanian complained to the umpire during changeover, but the umpire didn’t do more than caution the spectators. The verbal abuse continued, specifically from four hooligans in the audience. Having had enough, Hanescu walked over to their general direction and spit at them. He then promptly double-faulted intentionally and walked out of the court, defaulting the match. One of the most shocking defaults Wimbledon has ever seen.

Fine record
This year also saw the most number of fines issued during a single tournament. Not surprisingly, Victor Hanescu was fined US$7500 for unsportsmanlike conduct and another $7500 for “not using best efforts at the conclusion of the match.”
He wasn’t alone, though, as the Williams sisters paid US$4000 each for failing to appear for press interviews after their quarterfinal loss in the women’s doubles tournament (players are contractually obligated to attend post-match press conferences at Grand Slams).
Rafael Nadal wasn’t spared, forking over US$2000 for receiving coaching during his match against Phillip Petzschner. Although Toni Nadal, his uncle and coach, maintains they were simply words of encouragement, Rafa promptly paid up without complaining, saying, “The rules are the rules.”

A long day at work
Imagine yourself a tennis umpire. You dress up, go to work, and review your list of duties. You sit up on the tall chair, and preside over a tennis match. It’s just another day at work, except that it’s the longest day at work you will probably ever have for the rest of your life.
Imagine sitting there for nine hours straight, without taking a bathroom break. Imagine that, after all that time, the match still isn’t done and you had to go back the next day. And then the next. And on the third day, imagine that it took more than two hours to end.

After 11 hours and five minutes, over three days (they had to stop the match the past days on account of darkness), John Isner finally gets a last backhand past Frenchman Nicolas Mahut. And you, the umpire, mercifully declare the winner of the longest match in tennis history. Both men hug at the net like long-lost friends, they each shake your hand, then break down in tears as they realize it’s all finally, painfully over.

But no tears for you, the silent authority over this record-breaking phenomenon. You faithfully log the pertinent stats of the match: 183 games, 215 aces, 980 points.
Meanwhile, the players are honored at the Tennis Hall of Fame Museum and Wimbledon Museum. John Isner wins an ESPY award for his victory and rattles off his “Top Ten Thoughts During the 11-hour Tennis Match” at David Letterman’s Late Show (No. 9: We’ve been playing so long, I forgot: Am I Isner or Mahut?).

You get a plaque and commendation for your effort in that historic moment. They ask you to pose with the players by the frozen scoreboard. You smile. Just another day at work.

Hey kids. We’re hosting a Pacquiao-Mosley fight live viewing at 7th High, Bonifacio High Street on May 8, 2011 at 8:00 AM. For only Php 1,000 you get a breakfast buffet and 2 bottles of beer! Yup beer at 8AM. Also, if you go, you’ll have a chance to win exciting prizes from our sponsors!!

Please call Mary ann Hona at 850-4670 to reserve seats! See you there!

Link to our Facebook Album (Please like!)

Sponsored by:
ETAM
RAYBAN
THE SPA
JACK NICLAUS
FUTURE TRADE

Directed and cut by Jason Tan

Produced by Lyle Sacris and Erwin Romulo

Styled by Mads Adrias

“A Nice Place” (interlude)
by Juan Pablo Dream
produced and arranged
by Malek Lopez

An excerpt from Stormy Weather featuringCab Calloway, his band and the Nicholas Brothers rendering the “finest piece of tap dancing ever filmed” according to Fred Astaire.