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Women Who Love Their Poles
October 8, 2010
I was very curious when I was asked to judge the Second International Pole Dancing Competition in Divino Men’s Club, especially since pole dancing is lobbying to be the next Olympic sport (and maybe yoga, cosplay, and competitive texting). Of course, curiosity killed the cat. To prevent any deaths, this cat made sure he went to the pole dancing competition with his wife.
I thought that the judging would be a relatively simple affair as it had similar regulations that you would find in most Olympic-level sports: no vulgar music, no nudity, no thongs, and no tassels. But right before the competition, Ania Przeplakso, the head judge and designer of a unique fitness program called “Sensual fitness” (a regimen well known to many teenage boys), pulled me aside to explain the criteria for judging, which seemed slightly more complicated than rocket science. The scoring sheet had a total of 22 categories that included horizontal maneuvers, fluidity of transitions, foot positioning, and the all-important poise. On top of that, you had to score from a scale of one to seven with one being “basic” and seven being “worship my throne.”
Since the judging seemed more difficult than most national licensing exams, I did the smartest thing that I could do: I had my wife judge on my behalf (also because she blinders installed in my eyeglasses that she could operate by remote control).
A couple of minutes before my wife activated the blinders, I had a chance to speak with judges Ania and Lala Ilao-Dinglasan, pole dance teacher and choreographer, and their love affairs with polished stainless steel.
How do you qualify as a judge for the Second International Pole Dancing Competition? Aside from aesthetic considerations, is it desperation? The Dirty Old Men of the world want to know.
Anya: Experience (laughs).
Well, a lot of Dirty Old Men have had extensive experience with poles.
Anya: It’s not really desperation (laughs). It’s more of being stubborn and following your dreams. When I started pole dancing ten years ago, it still wasn’t acknowledged by anybody. It was a challenge, and I loved it!
Lala: Aside from that, your dance background is also important, And knowing the art itself is important: from how it started out as a show in a strip club to how it became an alternative exercise, and to how it is turning out to be a competitive sport.
That’s true. Men can be very competitive with their poles.
Anya: Most people think that pole dancing came from strip clubs. But it actually came from India.
They have strip clubs in India?
Anya: Pole dancing started in the twelfth century in Maharastra, India as the Indian sport of “Mallakhamb.” It was actually used to train wrestlers to gain more gymnastic skills. At the time, it was only performed by men.
I always thought wrestling with poles came intuitively to men.
Anya: In China, you have Chinese poles, which used a different type of material. I believe that is how pole dancing started progressing. Then, the women took over. They started to put on lipstick, high heels, and started dancing with the poles.
Women, they just take what is rightfully ours and make it more socially acceptable.
Anya: That’s because their male partners wouldn’t go and dance with them so the women found a partner that would never run away (laughs).
You would think that men would make better company than poles.
Anya: Women turned pole dancing into exercise. But of course, gentlemen’s clubs have made a big mark in the history of pole dancing. Why? For a majority of the girls who worked in the gentlemen’s clubs, pole dancing was only one form of exercise they could do at night.
I have a one-liner for this, but I am afraid to use it.
Anya: A lot of men and women noticed how these pole dancers were in such good shape and wanted to know what was their secret to keeping fit. I think this is how the popularity of pole dancing started to grow.
Lala: It’s a total body workout. Especially for people who are tired of going to the gym because of all the repetitive movements.
I for one have had enough of these repetitive movements
Lala: In pole dancing, you are focused on learning the skills, picking up the tricks, and having fun. The toning of the muscles and losing weight will just naturally follow.
Talking about having fun with your poles, you said that men can be good at pole dancing, and especially if they can’t find any partners?
Anya: What I love about pole dancing is the difference in performance between the men and the women. There is both a very feminine and a very masculine way to pole dance, just like regular dance. In last year’s pole dancing contest held in Tokyo, the women danced like water around the pole. They were spinning and flowing. But when you see the men perform, they attack the pole. While they are performing, you can see the muscles in their body fighting to keep their positions.
Lala: The good thing about men is that they are already innately strong. So it’s just a matter of how you are going to use your pole, how uniquely you plan to do your spins and tricks on your pole.
Some men have had more practice with their poles than others. Here is a more practical consideration: Won’t it be more difficult for men to work on the poles when their own, ehem, poles get in the way?
Anya: (Laughs) Well the techniques in pole dancing for a woman and for a man are different. For guys, they love grabbing the pole and then hanging.
Lala: The men don’t do as much squeezing and clamping as women on the pole.
I am glad to hear that our poles are safe from harm. Earlier this evening, we were treated to a special performance by a professional male pole dancer who performed to “Beautiful Girl.” I will not question his choice of music but rather his choice of clothes. Did he really need to wear those sequined armbands and speedos? That is an image that only copious amounts of alcohol can erase.
Lala: (Laughs) That’s really important in pole dancing: the less clothing, the better.
Anya: I have heard the same advice from many a DOM. But I’m not sure if this advice was meant to be unisex.
Lala: Because it has to be your skin to the pole. Or else you won’t be able to mount the pole to do some tricks.
Skin on the pole to mount some tricks, got it. And what are the other practical applications you can use pole dancing for aside from fire fighting?
Lala: Aside from private moments (laughs)?
You wouldn’t say?
Lala: Stamina and flexibility. (Laughs. Somewhere in the distance, her husband laughs.)
Anya: Well, after giving birth, many women have a hard time regaining their pre-pregnancy figure. Pole dancing is one of the most effective fitness routines that can shape the body in less than one month!
The three women reading UNO are having customized poles installed in their bedrooms as we speak. Speaking of stamina and flexibility, I hear that pole dancing might become an Olympic sport?
Anya: (Laughs) The media frenzy (over pole dancing as an Olympic sport) started during the Winter Olympics.
It must have been rather difficult to do pole dancing in the Winter Olympics what with body parts getting stuck to the pole and all.
Anya: Then we started the male categories for the pole dancing championships. After that, we put in an application for the pole dancing in the (2012) Olympics (as a test event). We are still working on it; we hope it will be acknowledged in Brazil (Olympics in 2016).
Then we must brace our wallets for the onslaught of new athletic products that will come about from this emerging sport, like fishnets from Speedo, 7-inch high heels from Adidas, and sport poles from Nike—so everybody can just do it.
Anya: And you may ask who the winner was of the Second Leg of the International Pole Dancing Competition? After watching thirteen candidates: nine from the Philippines and one each from Belarus, Japan, Malaysia, and Moldova, I can safely declare that the true winner for that evening was the pole.
First published in our August 2010 issue
